Does It Make You Happy?

You are insecure, you get nervous when you try to go for something new. You are ready for a change but you are scared of not succeeding.

You want more but you can’t let go of what’s holding you back.

What is it? What holds you back?

Think about it.

Is it what your leaving behind more valuable, more important then where you are going? Does it make you better? Does it make you happy?

Because if that, what you are doing at this specific moment of your life makes you happy… then why change it? But if it doesn’t… then what are you still doing there?

MOVE!

GET OUT!

Stop thinking about change and just begin. Little by little if you really try, you will end up where you need to be.

You can’t get there if you don’t start and if you already have the offer, the opportunity then why not take it?

Think about it… Does it make you happy? Will it make you happy? Will it get you to be happy?

 

 

Beautiful 

Everything you do is just beautiful.

The way you look, the way you carry yourself.

You may  not see what others see in you, you may doubt every step you take, every decision, every moment, every relationship.

You wake up every morning ready for another day, you put your right foot down and take that first step off the bed and on to start it all over again out there in this big world. The hustle, the dutty, the call.

The battle, to make a difference, to give it all, to make a change. 

You are so beautiful it’s incredible what we all can see. You are strong and you have no idea how strong you are.

You smile, when you want to cry and you fight back when you feel attacked. You are always on your tips, Running trying to be better every day. 

You are way to hard on yourself, you are always scared. Scared of being sad, scared of getting  fat, scared of not being enough, scared  of not being qualified, scared of not seeing the world, scared of settling. 

Relax! You are beautiful, you were beautifully crafted, beautifully designed, beautifully created don’t let everyone nor everything around you make you feel like you are not.

Love yourself more than anything. Believe in yourself more than you think you do. Have faith in you! You are capable of so many things. 

Don’t give up Beautiful! Don’t give up! 

Why Don’t I Just Quit

​Sometimes, I wonder what keeps me tied to where I am. Why does this place keep pulling me back. Why when I make the decision to change and leave it pulls me even tighter.

Then I try to step out of my world and try to see it clearly. In the process of figuring it out, I  realize that my mission here in this world is greater than what I imagine and that working where I am it’s not just about the music, being on the air, meeting artists, executing concerts, festivals, events, promotions, meet and greets and all that entertainment, sports, movie stuff but to use the tools that I have to be able to give back and help our community. 
So when there are days that I feel like the things that I create are not that great or I don’t give myself enough credit.  I just start to look back to the series of events I have originated, planned and executed through all the years in my career that have made a difference in someone elses life and makes me realized that I have fulfilled part of my mission. 

Last Friday I organized a food drive with Jody Dean & the Morning Team on KLUV benefiting the North Texas food bank, yesterday I organized a Voters Registration Drive with Voto Latino and Lulac. Tomorrow we start a 4 week free event series at local parks for listeners to bring their kids, have free food, face painting and hangout with our talents. In the next week’s we will be planning for the Children’s Radiothon coming up in December.
One of my mentors in my career gave me this quote the other day… and it really made my head spin. 
“We know only too well that what we are doing is nothing more than a drop on the ocean. But if the drop was not there, the ocean would be missing something” St. Mother Theresa Of Calcutta. 
#KeepMoving #MakeADifference #HelpOthers
God’s timing is perfect, he knows when, you will be ready for that next chapter in your career that will benefit you and your family for now we will keep trying to make a change one person at a time in the place that we are at and eventually everything will fall into place.


Remember this always and make sure you say it every day at least once:
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Was It Too Rushed?

Sitting on the couch looking through the window, I see the rain is poring down. Getting stronger and stronger then I hear some thunder while my husband is on the other room watching TV and playing video Games.

My mind starts to wonder off, was it to rushed. Did we get involve to quick? Do we really have a lot of things in common?

He says I am a Dreamer, that I like to try and jump into new things constantly, that I l like to travel and that he is okay with simply being. With being comfortable and staying with the already known.

That made me think again, was it too rushed? Are we really meant for eachother? Did we become parents way too soon? are we really entitled to last, if our differences are more and more noticeable every day that passes by?

He was deployed for almost a year, so in that whole year we spent it apart, each one of us adapted to being alone and grew internally closer to our own selfs.

He bacame more into porn, video games and social media. I became more into porn as well along with the desire to travel, to live more, to take my baby and experience the beauty of the world.

That time apart from eachother made us mature, grow and become better parents. We are a good team together, we love eachother, we care for eachother, we count on eachother, we are just so different and at the beggining of our relationship we went in, full speed. I mean no brakes no nothing. We ran wild, we did so many crazy things together that made us fall in love fast without thinking of the future. We used to talk, laugh, have fun together.

Today we can go a full day with out really speaking to eachother. Specially with this technology, social media world makes it harder to communicate. We are here but we are not really here. We are present but not really present.

I crave for real conversations, real touch, real advice. Being human together. The being present, the enjoying life through our eyes, touch, smell in all of our senses.

He is more into sitting outside smoking and watching videos on Facebook. While I am just here hanging on trying to have any conversations with him that are not just a msg or a phone call.

We are in the same house but not in the same room more than 30mins, unless it is bed time and we are getting ready to go to sleep.

All of this could be just a post-deployment effect and all I am doing is trying to support and hang on tight. Trying to hold on as much as I can.

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Home

Once I was lost, left without a home

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Alone, struggling through life confused.
Walking around with thousands of shattered dreams. With a broken heart, and empty soul with nothing on my name, nothing to lose nothing to gain.

I was just Jen a body walking around like a zombie, waking up, eating, going to work.

I would pick up shifts nobody else wanted, work Christmas, Thanksgiving, new years any holiday shift I would take it.
There was no purpose for me not to work it, I didn’t have anywhere else to be or to go. No where specifically to call home.

It hurt, it hurt really bad not having anyone to care for me. No one around to lift me up,  to trust to wait for me at home and ask me how my day was.

Home, I desperately looked for a place to call home. I worked hard, oh I worked hard. I focused on everything that I could do to make my self better

I struggled but I never gave up. Home. Home started in my soul, made me fall in love and have a beautiful baby girl. I can finally say I found home.

It was not something material, it was not something I could buy or work for. It was something that I could create with my own hands, with my soul, with my love, with my passion for life, for love.

Home, don’t look for it in others. Home is where you feel welcomed, love and accepted.
Love deeply, trust your soul and have faith. That’s the way you will find and create your own Home.

My Baby Girl

It is crazy, the way she walks, the way she talks, the way she is so curious about everything and anything.

She loves music, she loves to dance, her favorite song is “Imaginandote” by Reykon and Daddy Yankee, reggaeton of course, she is half Mexican half Russian so she can’t stay away from her Latin roots.

She loves oreo Cookies but only eats the icing and I end up having to eat the actual oreo Cookie. Haha not good for a diet.

She sleeps in my bed and oh my gosh she sleeps all over it and ends up almost kicking me off the bed. I’m surprised I haven’t woken up on the floor. She snores hehe, she kicks, she wakes me up at night every night for a bottle.

She makes a mess but she cleans up after, well she tries to clean up after. She loves her toys, she likes despicable me and she is now over Tarzan.

She’s funny, she’s bossy, she is definitely sassy. Olesya, my baby girl.
I am so lucky and blessed to be your mom.

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Confesiones De La Esposa De Un Militar

Una palabra tan profunda bueno al menos para mi. Despliegue.

Ya han pasado más de 8 meses desde que se fue de casa para volar atravez de aquellos mares hacia el medio oriente. Al principio me sentia perdida, fuera de lugar, triste ya que era la primera vez en mi vida que yo iva a vivir una separacion asi por causa de su deber Militar. Mi Esposo y yo apenas tenianos viviendo juntos 2 años y nos acababamos de convertir en papas el 2014 de una hermosa niña. Nuestra primer bebé , esta era la primera vez que yo me convertia en mama, tenia miedo, estaba perdida. Sentia que era demasiado para mí y que todo me estaba pasando a la misma vez. Ser una nueva mamá , tener un trabajo de tiempo completo, y el vivir sola de nuevo.

Yo vivi sola por muchos años y lo repito completamente sola, mis papas se habian separado y en todo ese proceso lo perdimos todo, cada quien se fue por su lado y yo me quede sola rentando un cuarto en la casa de una Tia que me ofrecio su techo. Me senti tan sola, sin nadie que se preocupara por mi, que preguntara por mi, que me guiara, que me quisiera, que me amara.

Al fin habia encontrado lo que tanto habia buscado y anelado tener, mi pequeña familia.  y al momento de escuchar la noticia, en ese preciso momento que me dijo que se iba, que lo habian llamado y que tenia que irse…  senti que mi corazon se partia en mil pedazos, senti un dolor tan grande en mi pecho, senti que no podia respirar. Llore, llore mucho no me gustaba la idea de volver a estar sola y pues mucho menos el estar sola con mi bebe.

El primer mes fue el mas dificil para mi, era el despertar en la mañana y ver que no estaba el ahi a mi lado. Era el de querer seguir con mi rutina diaria, salir del trabajo, recoger a mi bebe, pasar a la tienda a comprar algo rapido para hacer la cena en la casa.Verlo subir las escaleras del apartamento despues del trabajo  para cenar juntos.

Era el de quedarme tirada al lado de la carretera porque mi carro estaba fallando y tomar el telefono y marcarle y luego el de decirme “Jen el no esta aqui”  asi que tenia que averiguar quien pudiera ayudarme, buscar, llamar, textear a personas para que me ayudaran.

Era el acostumbrarme de no tenerlo en la casa para ayudarme con la bebe, de que si tenia que trabajar tarde o quedarme debido a un evento que tenia le llamaba y le decia que fuera por la niña, era el de que cuando estaba en la casa cocinando o haciendo algo u ocupada y necesitaba pañales, leche, o cualquier cosa el iva a la tienda rapido y asi yo continuaba lo que estaba haciendo y me quedaba con la niña.

Era el acosrumbrarme a hacerlo todo sola pero ahora con mi niña.

Entonces me empece hacer la idea de que el ya no estaba en casa, de que ya no podia nada mas marcarle y que el me contestara y estuviera ahi para ayudarme. Me hice la idea de que solamente estaba yo y mi hermosa Milan.

Hablamos todos los dias por medio del FB Messenger y eso me hace sentir tranquila, el tratar de no perder la comunicacion me da paz.

Y asi se pasa 1 mes, 2 meses, 3 meses y te empiezas acostumbrar, empiezas a encontrar maneras de como hacer las cosas, cuando hacerlas y como hacerlas funcionar, te vas ajustando. Te duele, aun lo extrañas pero te acostumbras. Aprendes a llevartela y a entender que no importa que tan triste, deprimida, derrotada estes eso no va a cambiar la situacion y hacer que el regrese a casa, asi que poco a poco sigues adelante, tratas de no pensar en los buenos momentos que pasaron juntos porque te duele. Asi que solo piensas y le pides a Dios que el este bien y que te de la fuerza para seguir echandole ganas sola.

Llega el 4to mes, el 5to y se aproxima el 6to, te vuelve a pegar. Se acerca el dia de dar gracias, la navidad y yo sin mi esposo y esta seria la primera cena de accion de gracias y la primera navidad que ivamos a pasar juntos como recien casados en nuestra primera casa. La que gracias a Dios acabamos de comprar y el estando en este despliegue, si de hecho el aun no la conoce sola la ha visto mediante fotos y videos. Asi que este proceso de la casa en el mes de septiembre lo hice tambien sola, con mi niña y mi trabajo de tiempo completo.

En el 6to y el 7mo mes que fueron Noviembre y Diciembre estos si me calaron un poco mas, el no estaba en casa, era Navidad y el no estaba con nosostras. Lo extrañe mucho como deseaba tener un abrazo de el, el verlos con nuestra bebe abriendo regalos. Este Despliegue (Deployment) hemos perdidos muchas primeras veces, no quiere decir que no las podemos recrear pero el tiempo perdido nunca regresa.

Ahi miles de cosas que las familias militares sacrifican.Varias esposas madres militares que estan viviendo como si fuesen madres solteras, batallando y tratando de mantener todo en la casa en orden. Algunas son mama de tiempo completo, otras son mamas y trabajan de tiempo completo, otras van a la escuela, trabajan y cuidan de sus niños.

Es dificil. Desde mi perspectiva yo digo que tienes que amar a tu esposo con todo el corazon para poder apoyarlo y aguantar esto. La vida militar no es para todos. No es para los egoistas,  los codiciosos, los infieles, ni los debiles.

El Deployment en realidad tiene su forma de poner a prueba tu amor, tu fidelidad, tu amistad, tu mente y tu alma.

Yo aun estoy en el periodo del Despliegue el aun no va a regresar a casa, aun nos faltan varios meses para estar juntos de nuevo.

Yo te puede decir que este despliegue ha cambiado mi vida, mi perspectiva acerca de la vida, me ha renovado, me ha echo mas fuerte, eh apreciado el vivir, me ha abierto los ojos hacia todo lo que me rodea, me ha convertido en una buena madre, esposa, trabajadora y mejor persona.

Me ha permitido encontrarme despues de estar perdida y aterrorizada de estar sola. Me ha echo ver que nada es impossible, que soy una mujer capaz de tantas cosas y de que no hay limite para seguir mis sueños y luchar cada dia para ser una mejor persona para mi bebe y mi esposo.

No estoy diciendo que me gusta este deployment porque no me gusta, lo que estoy diciendo es que nosotros mismos lo hacemos lo que queremos que sea. Mantente firme para tu Soldado, demuestrale que estas ahi para el, por que el siempre deberia de estar ahi para ti. No lo abandones y apoyalo durante este camino dificil.

Continua A Pesar De Todo! Porque eso es exactamente lo que hacemos las mamas.

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Confessions Of A Military Wife During Deployment

Such a deep word, well at least for me. Deployment.

It has been more than 8 months since he left home to go overseas. At the beginning I was lost as this was the first deployment that I was going to face in my life and my husband and I had only been together for 2 years and we had just became new parents on 2014 of a beautiful baby girl. Our first baby, my first time being a mom ever, I was lost. I was scared, it was too much for me to take at once. Being a new mom, having a full time job, living alone again.

I had been alone for a lot of years and I mean alone, my parents had separated and in that process we had lost everything they went different ways and I stayed renting a room at an aunts house that offered me her home. I felt alone, with no one there to care for me, to ask for me, to guide me, to love me.

I finally had what I had been looking for, my little family and at the moment of hearing the news at that moment that he told me he was leaving my heart just fell apart, I felt this huge pain on my chest, I felt like I could not breathe. I cried, I just didn’t like the fact of being on my own with my baby.

The first month was the hardest for me, it was the waking up and knowing he was not there. It was the getting on to the usual routine of coming back from work, rushing to get home pick up my baby buy something fast so I could make some dinner.

See him coming up the stairs in the apartment and then having dinner together. It was the getting stranded at the side of the road and me wanting to call him but then being like “wait he is not here” so then to me having to find out, call people, text them for help to see if someone would help me.

It was the getting used to not having him at home to help me with our baby, that if I had to work late or if I had an event I would be like baby can you pick her up today I am still working.  It was those quick runs to the store when I was in the middle of cooking or noticed we did not have milk, diapers, or anything that was needed at that time that he would just run and go get them while I would be at home with our baby.

It was the getting used to, doing it all on my own but now with a baby.

Then the idea started getting in my head that he was no longer home, that I couldn’t just call him and he would be there to help. That it was just me and my beautiful Milan.

We talk every day via the Fb Messenger video call, so that always gives me peace to keep the communication going.

So 1 month, 2 months, 3 months went by and you start getting used to it, you start finding ways on how to do things, when to do them and how to make them work, you adjust. It hurts, you still miss him but you get used to it. You just deal with it. You deal with the fact that it does not matter how you feel or how sad or depress you get that is not going to bring him back so you try to move on, to try to not think about all the moments when he was home because it hurts. You just think and pray that he will be okay and that God gives you the strength to keep moving!

The 4th month comes by, the 5th and the 6th it hits you again. The holidays are coming and this would be the first Christmas that we were going to spend in our first home which we bought while he is still deployed, so that means he has not seen our first home, he has only seen it through pictures and videos. Now this was also a hard process to go by alone with a Full Time Job and a baby but yeah all that happened around September.

In the 6th and 7th month which were November and December those months were a little hard. Spending thanksgiving without my husband which would had been our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple and it would had been our first Christmas as well as a married couple. So yeah with this deployment we have missed a lot of first times. It does not mean we cannot recreate but the time lost never comes back.

There are a lot of things that Military families sacrifice, a lot of military moms that are living like a single mom, struggling holding the fork at home, keeping it together. Some are full time moms, some are full time moms and full time employees, some are going to school, working and taking care of their kids.

It is just hard. From my own perspective you really need to love your husband with all your heart to support them. Military life is not for all. It is not for the selfish, it is not for the greedy, it is not for the unfaithful, it is not for the weak.

Deployment really has it’s way of testing your love, your loyalty, your friendship, your mind, your soul.

I am still in the deployment period he is not coming home yet, we still have several months to go to be back together again.

I can tell you that this deployment has changed my life, my perspective towards life, it has renewed myself, it has made me stronger, appreciate life, open my eyes to my surroundings, it has made me a good mom, a good wife, a good employee, a good person.

It allowed me to find myself, after being lost and afraid of being alone. It made me see that nothing is impossible that I am a women capable of so many things and that their is no limit to pursue my dreams and strive every day to be better for my baby and for my husband.

I am not saying I like this deployment because I don’t, what I am saying is that we are the ones that make it what we want it to be. Have your Soldiers back and they should always have yours. Don’t let them down and support them through this difficult journey.

Soldier On, because that’s what moms do.

HAZ CLICK AQUI PARA LEERLO EN ESPAÑOL 

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