Ya Se Vienen Otra Vez Las Fechas Tristes

El otro día de la nada me llega un mensaje de mi hermano:

“…Ya vienen otra ves las fechas tristes jenn, yo creo que estas son las mas difíciles para un preso igual que los fines de semana…”

Y sabes que, no me saco de onda el mensaje, si no que me hizo pensar. Me hizo recordar lo fácil que la tenemos nosotros los libres. Los que podemos hacer lo que queremos cuando queremos e ir a donde queramos cuando queramos.  Si, tal vez es el privilegio de hacer las cosas bien; ya sabes, dentro de lo que indica la ley.  Y pues tal vez ese es el precio que tienen que pagar ellos por equivocarse en la vida. Aunque, quisiera que me dijeran quien no se ah equivocado en esta vida.  Lo triste es de que te hace reflexionar en todas esa personas que se encuentran solos. No necesariamente los presos, si no todos aquellos que se han quedado solos aun estando libres y no encerrados dentro de 4 paredes forzosamente si no por decisión propia.

Siempre eh sentido que esta época de la navidad es una de las temporadas mas felices y a la vez una de las temporadas mas nostálgicas para algunos de nosotros.

Todo el año no la pasamos trabajando, estudiando, luchando y sumergidos en la rutina. Esa rutina inmensa que parece un laberinto, que no nos da tiempo de pensar en nuestro alrededor,  Solo vamos cegados por la vida tratando de sobrevivir y salir adelante con los gastos, las facturas, las deudas y entre otras tantas cosas que no tienen importancia.

Nos vamos recorriendo el año como los caballos de carrera, con esas mascaras que les ponen y no los dejan ver lo que hay a su alrededor. Solo ven la meta que se encuentra al final del camino.

Y así nosotros de repente,  al momento de llegarse las ultimas fechas de Noviembre y acercándose el mes de Diciembre empezamos a poner el freno y a ver que vamos hacer, que planes se harán para esas fechas tan esperadas de Diciembre. Si tienes papas, pues ya comienzas a contemplar el visitarlos para pasarte el 24 con ellos y la navidad. O si tienes hermanos, tíos, primos o estas casado, casada se empiezan hacer los planes… de que “nos vamos a visitar a tus papas el 24 y a los míos el 25 y así para los dos ver a su familia y pasarla de nuevo juntos otra navidad”.

Y sabes que como estas tan contento y feliz no te llega a la cabeza ni siquiera el pensar que tal vez tienes a un amigo o una amiga, prima, familiar que en esta temporada, este año ha perdido a alguien en su vida, o esta preso, o trabajando en otro país, o es soldado y se encuentra al otro lado del mundo separado de las personas que el o ella mas quiere. Que mientras tu tienes toda la mesa llena, hay personas que tienen una silla vacía.

Si eres feliz, que bueno! Se feliz! Si solo te preocupas por ti y no por las personas a tu alrededor pues es tu decision. Lo único que te aconsejo es de que: Disfrutes a tu familia hoy! De que no desaproveches la oportunidad que tienes de abrazarlos. De abrazar a tu papa, a tu mama, a tu hermano, hermana.  De verlos y tenerlos a tu lado y sentir que esos momentos que estas viviendo no quisieras que se fueran si no que se quedaran congelados en tu vida por un largo momento.

En esta vida no todos somos los afortunados, en esta vida hay personas que no tendrán donde pasar la noche, mujeres que están siendo golpeadas, niños que serán abandonados por sus propios padres, narcotraficantes que serán detenidos y que por su egoísmo dejaran en la calle a su familia entera. Lastima, que el mundo no es tan bonito como uno quisiera que fuera. O tal vez si lo es, pero depende de cada uno de nosotros para cambiarlo y alimentarlo.

Tal como una rosa depende del jardinero para que le ponga agua, para que la proteja de la helada y la mantenga roja, verde y viva.

En esta temporada, dale alojo a una persona necesitada. Y no me refiero necesariamente de que los invites a tu casa, si no de que les demuestres que tu estas ahí. Tal vez esa persona esta mas cerca de ti de lo que te imaginas. Podría ser tu hermana, tu primo, prima o un amigo. En esta época de redes sociales, no es tan difícil conectarte con alguien y mandarle un mensaje.  Puede que ese mensaje cambie su perspectiva de la vida. Un simple Hola, como estas? Podría ayudarle con la nostalgia y lo triste que puede ser esta navidad.

Aveces Me Siento Perdida

Aveces me siento muy triste, aveces me siento perdida. Como que lo quiero todo y al final no quiero nada.

Aveces siento mucho coraje por la vida, no sueño con perderla solo con cambiarla.

Siento que no todos los que me rodean son sinceros, que hasta los más cercanos quieren lastimarme.

Que talvez el que dice que mas me quiere es el que menos me soporta.

Y que el que más me odia, en lo más profundo quisiera que no fuese así.

No se, en esta vida casi siempre me siento perdida. Con miles de preguntas que no logró encontrar respuestas.

¿Qué es lo más importante en tu vida? ¿Será que lo más importante es tu familia? ¿tu carrera? ¿O el simple hecho de sentir que ya la hiciste? ¿Qué todo parece marchar bien, por ahora? Hmm.

No lo se. Si tu sabes cual es la respuesta no dudes en decirmelo.

Me gustaria escucharte. Déjame tu comentario.

Jen

Deployed To Assist In Hurricane Relief Operations

And off he went to help with hurricane relief operations.

I am proud to be his wife and see him doing what he loves. 😍

You would think that saying goodbye gets easier with time but it doesn’t seem like it does.😭

It doesn’t matter if I am saying goodbye for a weekend, a week, months or a year. It’s always the same feeling. That thing you feel in your stomack and in your heart and no, it’s not butterflies. It’s a feeling that I sometimes cannot explain.

I feel happy to see him go to help others, I feel proud of being married to him for serving others, I feel honor, I feel like I am a part of everything that he does even if I am not the one wearing the uniform but in the other hand I also feel sad, worried, confused hoping deep down that he is not gone for long. I feel like I’ll be alone again with my 3 year old and I am going to have to make adjustments again, you know the little things I guess.

Like now having to wake up an Hour earlier than usual and drive 30 miles west from my house to now drop her off at school then head back pass my house to drive East and make it on time to work in downtown or having to cancel my recently registered boot camp that I had signed up to do for the month of September considering that he would be home sleeping with Olesya while I would try to “work out” hehe (I don’t work out) this was going to be myself forcing to get into the “fit mom club” haha well that will have to wait but I mean those things are not important.

What is important is that I support him and that I love him for him.

One thing that does make me a little emotional is seing that Olesya is now older & already knows that when papi puts on his uniform she won’t be able to see him through the night. She now says “Papi Army”. She looks at him and says:

“Papi you go Army? Don’t go Army”.

It’s the little things that we as military spouse’s have to live with. The constant goodbyes, the long distance relationship, the being mom and dad at the same time when your service member is deployed. Despite all of those things…

I am proud of my Soldier!🇺🇸

I am happy that through him we are able to help in some way the victims of #HurricaneHarvey.

Because I may be the wife that stays back home but I will never stop praying for his and everyone else’s safety. 🙏

#TexasStrong #ArmyStrong #Harvey #Helpingothers #Pray #UnityThroughPrayers #family #Prayerchain #hope #faith

¿Te deprimes cuando ves fotos de modelos en el Instagram?

Si eres una de esas chavas que tiene un IG y te la pasa viendo fotos de las tantas chavas que tienen un cuerpazo, cara linda, maquillaje perfecto y las mil y tantas cosas que las hacen ver espectaculares.

¡Vi este anuncio hoy en mi Instagram!

Y por un momento me dije.. ¿lo bajo? ¿Para ver si sirve o que onda?

Y luego al otro pense… ¿y si es verdad que sirve? ¡WOW! Entonces talvez solo hay una parte tan pequeña que es real de todos esos cuerpazos que vemos muy seguido en el instagram. ¿Será que un 80% de ellos sean falsos?

La modelo que usan en el anuncio de la aplicación ya se ve perfecta y ahora con todas las modificaciones que le hacen a su cuerpo con la app.. No manches!

Y luego andamos todas traumadas que porque no nos vemos como ellas se ven en las fotos.

¡La realidad es que no todo lo que vemos es real!

Así que deja de compararte con esas fotos porque te aseguro que la mayoría están llenas de infinidad de aplicaciones, filtros y photoshop.

¡Eh dicho!

Don’t just settle

That moment when you don’t know what else to do, where to go, nor where to hide your emotions and pretend that everything is perfect.

That moment when you get tired of pretending, but then you think about it and say but I can be happy by not wanting more, by just living and getting by.

I can be okay with just being okay.

but, then your mind catches you back and while you are thinking you can pretend, she tells you… No you can’t!

See your heart is connected to your soul, your soul is connected to your mind, your mind is connected to your body and they all together know that you can’t.

That it does not matter how hard you try to settle for less you just can’t settle with an okay.

YOU are worth too much for a simple “I’m okay” or a simple we are okay and then going on with life like if nothing is happening.

YOU deserve an “I love you every morning”, a “how are you today?”

a simple touch that will make you feel like you are floating and swimming in the ocean with no fear of drowning.

It’s crazy how a simple thing can make us feel IMPORTANT, how a simple thing can make us feel WANTED because when we feel those things we are UNSTOPPABLE!

But what happens when we don’t have someone that cares or sees after us? What do we do? How do we pretend?

All these questions pop up in our head specially if you are single but hey there are so many of us that may be in a relationship and we still feel like we don’t have that someone that cares and looks out for us.

But you know what? We do have someone, we always do! & Fortunately is someone that will never let us down!

We have ourselves!

So don’t wait for someone to make YOU feel those things!

GET UP! GET MOVING!

Look at your self in the mirror and say “I’M BEAUTIFUL”  don’t let him, or her nor them tell you otherwise.

Please don’t stay there paralyzed hoping that one day to another everything will change, because sadly it won’t.

You can’t change others, you can try to change them, you can try to make them love you but you shouldn’t do that because you are worth it and you will find the right one when the time is right.

Listen!

You are BEAUTIFUL and your Soul is as profound and as BLUE and PEACEFUL as the Ocean.

Keep moving forward wave after wave.

By Omar Vega
Photo By: Omar Vega

In solitude sometimes is the best way to find yourself, to rediscover who you are to realize that there are so many things within you that will take you even further that will build you and make you stronger.

It’s time to reconnect with your self and START living for YOU TODAY!

¿Porque siempre te comparas con alguien mas?

Aveces ser mujer no es tan facil en esta época de modelos de las redes sociales o talvez no solo aveces sino la mayoria del tiempo.

Son de esas veces en las que te miras en el espejo y no te gusta lo que vez en el.

Talvez porque quisieras verte como alguien más. Como otra mujer que no eres tú. Si tu piel es muy clara te crees estar pálida o demacrada y quisieras tener más color, si tu piel es morena la quisieras tener más clara. Si tus ojos son redondos los quisieras tener rasgados. Si eres muy delgada quisieras tener más carne y así nos vamos con el cuento de nunca acabar, queriendo ser lo que no somos.

Ese espejo te hace sentir más gorda, más nalgona, menos nalgona, más chichona, con menos cintura, menos caderas o más panzona. Aveces te hace sentir derrotada, triste, deprimida porque no ves lo que quieres ver, porque sientes que apesar de haber comenzado esa dieta y esa nueva rutina de ejercicios no vez cambios en tu cuerpo o talvez sientes que te vez peor.

Talvez todas esas cosas que vez en tu newsfeed del face o las fotos en el Instagram te hacen pensar que deberías aparentar o ser alguien que no eres.

Talvez al ver esas fotos de viajes, de chicas bonitas con cuerpos de modelo, de caras hermosas con ese lindo tutorial de maquillaje te deprime, porque talvez no te alcanza para ese viaje que tanto quisieras, o no tienes el tiempo para ver esos tutoriales de belleza y aprenderte a maquillar como una profesional del social media y porque talvez TU si tienes una vida real y aunque tu vida es real te molesta porque tu no puedes o no tienes el tiempo de hacer esas cosas.

Ahora si eres como yo y no tienes tiempo ni de irte de shopping ya sea porque trabajas, estudias, tienes hijos, o andas como loca haciendo mandados te metes en linea y comienzas con tu online shopping para ti y tu familia. Ya sea que visitas la página de Forever 21, Fashion Nova, Zara, Bershka, Old Navy, Bebe, Guess o cualquier página que tenga ofertas y rebajas. Las chavas en todas esas paginas se ven hermosas, jóvenes, la ropa les queda muy bien. Ves lo que te gusta y te imaginas como se mirará en tu cuerpo y te comparas a la modelo. Algunas de esas páginas usan modelos super altas y flacas, sin pecho, ni pompis, ni caderas pero se ven muy bien porque son extremadamente atractivas. Ahora en las otras páginas como Fashion Nova que utiliza a las modelos que tienen un cuerpazo con cinturita, caderas, pecho y super nalgonas, algo así como la Kim Kardashian.

De ahí te quedas viendo y pensando en que categoría cabes. Si mirándote al espejo ves que eres latina pero no tienes caderas, que tienes pecho pero no tienes las piernas largas y tienes el torso corto y no mucha cintura. Así que ahi vas comparandote una vez más y agotandote con lo de que si tienes o no tienes.

Es difícil en este día querer tu aparencia física un poco más porque en el preciso momento en el cual te empiezas a querer y aceptar tu cuerpo tal como es salen más fotos, más vídeos, más post en todas las redes sociales que visitas. Ahora eso es sin considerar tus relaciones, amigas, amigos, tus citas, pareja o esposo si eres casada y sus tantos comentarios que hacen de las fotos de los cuerpos de chavas que ven en sus redes pues de nuevo te vuelven a tambalear.

Entiende que No es su culpa, ni es la tuya.

Es la epidemia de las redes sociales que nos hace adictos a las percepciones.

Es difícil ser una mujer que no tenga inseguridades, que no tema envejecer y de que tu cuerpo no sea el mismo después de convertirte en mama.

Date la oportunidad de verte a ti misma, sin compararte a los demás. Deja de ver esas cosas que te afectan. Concéntrate y  enfocate en ti misma.

Amate, valorate y no te dejes llevar por las apariencias de los demás.

Tu como yo somos hermosas y cada una de nosotras somos únicas como todas las demas.

Leaving the Job I Dreamed Of When I Was Growing Up

So many mixed emotions and after almost 8 years February 16 was my last day at CBS Radio. Not the easiest decision considering that I always dreamed of working in Radio when I was a teenager growing up in Mexico.
I remember I used to ride in the car listening to the radio and wonder how that music and the DJ ON air would come out through those speakers & How would it feel to be the one on the other side?
Fresh out of High School and thanks to my Tia Marta Leticia that met a General Manager who’s son was a patient at the Clinic where she used to work at and talked about me and my passion for music and radio got her card for me to call her and apply for a part time gig in promotions at Clear Channel Radio now IHeart Media.
I believe I was 18 when I got that gig getting paid minimum wage driving from Cedar Hill all the way by the Galleria Mall without any highway driving experience, I mean I learned how to drive in Mexico since I was 13 but the roads do not compare to these huge freeways and being that I had just moved here from MX I barley knew how to drive on them but that did not stop me.

I went to Mountain View in the morning, helped my parents at the bakery at midday in Oak cliff then headed to work promotions in the afternoon.
My step dad hated me working in radio, he would bump in to me sometimes in the parking lots of a supermarket while I was working during a Van Hit in the middle of the summer putting bumper stickers on cars and he would say “is this what you came to the US to do? To put bumper stickers on cars? And stand out in the sun all day for $7.25 an hour”. And I would just look smile and greet another listener. You know for me that was my dream, as ridiculous as it may sound, working at the radio station was everything for me. I Stayed at La Preciosa for a year left because my step dad hated Radio for me and one day helping my parents at the bakery closer to my time to go to the station my stepdad did not allow me to leave the bakery and made me call my boss and quit my job over the phone. I was crying, I was mad because there was nothing I could do. Yes, I was 18 but that was his car not mine, that was his bakery not mine and I lived at their house not mine, So I became a limited lines car insurance sales agent lasted a year when I hear a new Radio Station that played Latin pop was in town. Left my $14 an hr insurance job I had gotten at 19 to go back to Radio at 21 to get paid $7.50.

Took a major pay cut for me in that time but it was the Passion that I had for Radio that didn’t make me think of the pay. Yes, I struggled. I was trying to go to school, work and make it with minimum wage which thanks to God, I could by living at my parents house.
From there, I kept moving on. I started picking up every shift, every event, working weekends, holidays learning as much as I could.

Board Operating, production, voice overs, traffic, events, operations, promotions, ideation, on air shifts, everything. Name the shift, I would work it. Eventually after a yr and a half from $7.50 I got a raised due to working in the office and doing a Promotions Coordinator job to $10.

I was scheduling brand ambassadors, creating content for the website, executing on air promotions and assisting the promotions department, then after that another year went by the opened a full time position to be a coordinator for Mega and 98.7 KLUV which I was already doing the job of a coordinator as a part timer for Mega 107.5. I interviewed for the position but since I was not too familiar with KLUVs format I was not selected. So another person got the promotion and I kept working as a part timer.

Long story short they separated the position and opened up the position just for Mega which then got offered to me after 3 years. Obviously I took it since I was going to get benefits and a now full time job. Things got a little crazy for me at times, work was always my escape. I started on the air as the traffic reporter for the afternoon show with Pelos Parados then later added weekends on Mega 107.5 while I was also running the promotions team and executing events, contest and all that good stuff!

It was all about work, work, work! I enjoyed helping people, being in media allowed me to help a lot of people either directly or indirectly with fundraising events, to free music festivals, concerts benefiting great causes, to creating food drives, toy drives and tons of awesome things for the community.

So even when I wanted to leave that always kept pulling me back. I went on and kept going on, the work kept increasing the pay never did. I was overwork, unappreciated and I went through periods where all that mattered to me was to have everything taken care of at the radio station. I knew I had to get out, I knew it was not healthy for me, I was under the direction of very sexist boss, who was infatuated with me and got mad because I wouldn’t go out with him. He tried, he tried really hard to make me go out with him and he could not handle rejection. I saved up my money, stuck it out for a couple of months then when I felt I could survive for a couple of months. I Quit! I put my 2 weeks notice and left that place. I needed to leave to find something else. I was going through a lot personally from my parents separating and losing every thing including our home. I was homeless for a minute and my aunt took me in. I just couldn’t help it. I needed to leave in that process I was offered a job in Hollywood working for a movie agency, recommend by a good friend and while I was interviewing in their office in LA. I received a call from the radio station offering me a position and letting me know that all prior management were no longer there and that they wanted me back!

They offered me $45,000 for a position where I would be working for the station I have worked so hard for Mega 107.5 so i just couldn’t refuse the offer. Once back in things were different, the atmosphere was better and I was happy again!

But then came another restructuration at the same time that my husband was deployed in Afghanistan (I met my husband back in my college days but reconnected when I quit my job and took a part time at Barnes and Noble) the restructuration consisted of me now overseeing La Grande 107.5 which was previously La Mega, then 98.7 KLUV (the station I didn’t get the full time position for back when I applied) and then 1080KRLD.

Life is crazy, well I had to take the responsibility since there was no other option but to take it or quit the job. My pay did not go up, so I kept the same salary and was now doing the job of 3 people. (Not too strange in radio). My husband was deployed so again I went ahead and took the challenges being busy didn’t leave me with much time to think that he was gone and that I was once again alone but not only with myself but with our 1 y/o baby girl.

Times were hard but passion kept me going, my dream kept me going.

The times I spent at CBS were a rollercoaster they were fun, they were stressfull, they made me mad, angry, hopeless, smart, knowledgeable and most importantly at my time in CBS I made some of the strongest friendships.

So saying goodbye to radio was not that easy buy I knew it was my time to move on and go on to my next adventure.

Cartas De Un Padrastro Desde La Cárcel. 

Padrastro Escribe:

hola  hija como estas?

pues pago este servisio para estar mas en contacto con tigo enana para mas fasil para ti y ni asi me contestas enana fea que onda con tigo? tu sabe aki tiene ganos uno de platicar con la familia pero pues ya nadi se acuerda de uno.
Respuesta de la hijastra:

Hola! Estamos bien gracias por no darte por vencido.

Aveces las cosas pasan y no se dan como uno quisiera pero todo es resultado de los errores que cometimos o cometemos. Sómos Humanos y es entendible el sentirnos perdidos,.solo en momentos difíciles que sentimos que nadie nos quiere o se preocupa por nosotros pero nunca entendemos que las otras personas pueden estar pasando por otras cosas personales que no las dejan ver más aya de ellas mismas.