Marriage, separation, divorce

It’s difficult, the transition, the finding yourself again after being tied to someone else for so long. Learning how to walk alone just exactly how you did so perfectly before you melted into “one”. Marriage, it’s such a profound word that should not be taken lightly.

Per the dictionary marriage a noun is,

  1. the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.
  2. a combination or mixture of two or more elements.

When you marry someone you feel that the love is forever, that they will be there forever but that doesn’t always work that way. I have this sense that things in life are temporary just like our life here in earth. We are not here to stay and marriages well they are not the exception to this rule, not all stay till death due them apart.

Some marriages drift away, some couples grow together others grow apart. Some make mistakes such as turning to addiction, alcoholism, infidelity, abuse, some marriages are toxic and are like a spiral game going downward. Some take the life out of you and others give it back.

Marriages are hard, complicated, beautiful, they create and end varios things in your life. They give you commitment they take away your singularity. Some turn you into a blossoming flower and others turn you to dust.

Yesterday at a dinner that I went with my best friend I was chatting with an over 50 year old that had been married for 25 years and was filing for divorce, yes after 25 years and 4 kids together. Him and his wife got married young and now with all of the years they have drifted apart.

He mentioned they had already separated and that his kids which 3 of them are already in college and the other one is in his Senior year of High School told them that they had already seen it coming. Now, he is 50 wondering what are the next steps in his life?

What happens after being married for so long and now going into this world where once everything collided and meshed together are no longer one element “married” together but now he needs to discover who he is after so many years of marriage and now at an age where you are 50 and maybe you will want to find someone again, date again. He is about to enter a whole new world that many of us have entered that have been through a separation or divorce after being married for whatever years, even if it was only one, two, five, seven, ten, etc.!

Why do the majority of marriages end? Do we as humans rush into things? Or is it just supposed to happen? People change, couples change. How can you like the same things y’all both liked when y’all started dating? Did you keep up? Did you fall out of love? Were you heartbroken? Did they leave you?

How have you dealt with separation or divorce?

Sorry in this case, I am not giving you my advice. I am just curious to know how you have navigated through this and if you have gave your chance to love and marry again.

I know, I believe in marriage and I would get married again once I find the person that I feel the most myself with, without having to change anything from him or myself to merge into one.

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