I Need Myself First

Today I have decided, I will start being more me.

I will start being less for everyone and more for me. I will make my own choices without thinking of the consequences that will affect others commodities.

I will no longer continue to give 100% to people who only give me 15, 20% or close to nothing.

It is hard for me to think this way, because I have always been raised to serve and help others. Keep them together and make them happy. You know your family, your relationships, your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse.

But today, I need to be selfish.

I need to get up and do the things I been letting go just because of constantly feeling obligated to make my surroundings happy. Making sure they feel loved, so that I can receive their love back or making sure I make plans including both of us, so that maybe he can make plans that only includes both us.

I keep not going for my dreams to a full speed because of putting other people’s dreams first. Thinking about how I can help them to achieve their goals, to pursue what they love and go for it and in that process, I lose my focus.

I lose myself in the shadow of others.

I tend to not go for what makes my skin glow with excitement because of allowing my surroundings to keep me tied to a steady typical ordinary life.

Today, that will change. Today that has to change.

I will think more about me and less about them. Yes that’s sounds extremely selfish but, I need to find myself again.

I need to bring back who I truly am, and if in that process I lose people, I didn’t have many around me that truly mattered anyways.

It’s more of a state of mind. I need to work hard to shift my thoughts, to follow what my heart and dreams desire, I need to shift my direction of life.

Love me more, think about me more, focus on me more.

I can’t help but to feel that this is selfish, but I need to fight that feeling and remind myself that I need myself, first.

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